Middle Childhood and Self Image Development

So, as we explore with our clients their life history, what can we expect to find as the historical roots of the coin, or as the historical roots of an unhealthy self image?
Well, in my work with my clients over the years I began to observe an interesting trend, which later I realised literature on developmental psychology had been pointing to all along! The gist of the matter is: self image begins to form in middle childhood (which is ages 6-12). From a developmental perspective, middle childhood has been understood as a period when a child becomes intensely aware of the evaluation of other people and then their self-concept is formed based on the reactions and views of others - these trends have been explored at length by Piaget, 1952, Mead, 1934, and Cooley, 1902.

A review by the US National Research Council in 1984 takes a detailed view into the process of self concept being formed during this sensitive age group, exploring the fact that that much of the child’s efforts begin to be governed by their social identity and the expectations of other people.

I feel it’s important to draw a contrast between these developmental factors and the way that the child views and receives the world prior to middle childhood. Prior to middle childhood, the child does not spend a great deal of time or energy evaluating their self worth, comparing themselves with their peers, or concerning themselves with their social identity. According to Erikson (1959) and Purkey (1970), competence, mastery, a sense of industry, academic achievement and social class are all factors that create for the child going through this developmental phase views of either adequacy and aptitude or that of inferiority and inadequacy.

The US National Research Council on 1984 concludes: it is not surprising that during middle childhood children display some of the most intense emotional experiences, characterised by devastation when they are rejected by a desired team, peer or group, and strong pride when they do well academically, athletically or socially.

In my work with adults who suffered from self esteem or self image issues, I found that the origin of their poor self image could often be found in middle childhood. For example, an adult who had the core belief of “I’m not smart” began to form this belief when they struggled with spelling and maths at primary school. An adult who believed that they couldn’t fit in and were a social outcast began to form this belief when they were ridiculed by peers and struggled to make friends in primary school. An adult who formed the belief “I have exceptional talents and deserve to rise to the top and beat all my competitors” developed their sense of grandiosity during primary school when they were overtly favoured by their parents or teachers because they were a gifted student. Gradually I began placing greater and greater focus on my clients’ stories from this age group, regardless of whether I was working with adults or children. It has been surprising to me that, while literature is clear about the importance of this developmental stage, therapists often do not give it due importance during their work with their clients.